


To:

by reprimanded_by_evil



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 08:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15263700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reprimanded_by_evil/pseuds/reprimanded_by_evil
Summary: • Nathan• Lily• Alice• FinnI'm sorry world... I'm just.... I'm sorry you have to see this...LAST CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SUICIDE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.





	1. Nathan

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at all things, a newly discovered not-talent, SUMMARIES!!
> 
> Yep.. I am awful..
> 
> LAST CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF SUICIDE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.  
> Please be careful and stay safe lovelies :(

To: Nathan,

I'm sorry. First and foremost, that I made you mad. That I made you hate me. It's my fault, I know. But I didn't mean to. I love you with all my heart, and I failed. All the things that we've shared over time are gone, and I can't breathe without you. I can't breathe, so I tried to make it better with more holes to breathe from, but that just made people afraid of me. You said you don't love me and that you never did. That I was just a fuck body, and I didn't matter. I'm sorry that I can't fix it, can't make you happy. I won't do it again. I'll do anything to see you smile at me, and to make you happy.

I figured it out.. How to fix all this. To stop. Stop breathing, stop talking, stop being. I love you, Nate.. Anything for you.

From: Nobody.


	2. Lily Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next letter.

To: Lily Love,

Hey baby girl. I love you to the end of the world and back, and you should NEVER blame yourself for the things I did wrong. Please never ever give up on that beautiful voice of yours and never give up on Alice, no matter how hopeless she seems. I love you baby girl. Even if your 4 years older than me, your always going to be my baby girl.

Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something just because your deaf. Hell, I'm pretty sure you hear better than most people anyway.

I love you, Big little brother


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third letter

To: Alice,

Alice the Strong One. That's what you've always been called because nothing ever affects you, and you can take anything. I need you to do that now. The world will be better soon and I need you to make sure Lily and Finn make it to the better. I love you so much but its like the world is suddenly devoid of oxygen and everyone else was prepared but me. I have kissed the world goodbye and pray for its safe continuance. Please tell Nathan that I love him, always. If you ever fall, remember how you survived. Everything that the world threw at you, you survived. Stay safe Angel.

Pride, Nobody


	4. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last letter

To: Finn,

KEEP LILY AND ALICE SAFE OR I WILL KILL YOU. I know shit sucks for you but I will end you if they get hurt. That aside, I'm sorry that this is happening, I know it's a little inconvenient. I'm sorry that I've become a burden, but that's all ending now, because I'm fixing all the things that I messed up in the first place. Don't let anyone be sad, this is a good thing. I don't hate you, whether it seems otherwise or not. I'm sorry,

From: No One Good


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The suicide... Read at your own risk.

Duke put down the pen. The movement hurt, but that's okay, its all done. "Everyone who knew I existed now knows that I any more" he thought wistfully. Perfection comes in odd shapes. Duke rose from the desk and went to the bathroom. The medicine cabinet was basically a fully stocked miniature pharmacy, so there were plenty of options. The phone rang, and Duke instinctively picked it up.

"Hello?" Duke asked.

"Where are you?" Nathans voice sent a jolt of excitement through him.

"Home, why?"

"My father told me that you came over yesterday... I thought I told you that I don't want your worthless ass around anymore?! Quit coming around you fucking slut, I don't love you and I never will. God your such an idiot! Can't take a goddamn hint--" Nathan continued his tirade, but Duke didn't hear it. The excruciating pain that felt like a hollow hole where his heart once might have been sent pulses of desperation through him. Breathing became painful and tears stung his eyes.

Duke dumped pill bottles down his throat, only god knows how many. Finally, Duke stumbled to his bed and laid down. The hurting had stopped. And now Duke wanted to sleep, and sleep he did.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

Nathan sat at the kitchen table finishing his math homework when a cold feeling passed over him. Duke ALWAYS called back when Nathan got mad and went off on him. Always. But there hadn't been a peep from the phone for 3 hours since the call had ended. A few minutes passed before Nathan couldn't take it anymore.  
'I'm just gonna check that he's okay, and be done with it. Its not like I love him or anything...' Nathan thought, getting up.

"Dad!! Can you give me a ride to Duke's? I can't get ahold of him!" Nathan shouted.

"Fine. Let's go." Garland said peeking his head around the doorway.

The drive was long, for all of its five minutes. Nathan was out of the car before it even stopped, and already inside and halfway to the other boy's room by the time it had. Duke lay on his bed, face buried in his blanket. Nothing unusual, but still, the cold dread persisted. Nathan walked to the others side and shook him gently.

"Duke? Wake up.. Duke?" Nathan shook harder, and Duke still didn't wake. Finally, Nathan jostled him so much that Duke flopped back onto his back. His eyes wee slightly open, and his entire body was still. That's when it occurred to Nathan that Duke's ENTIRE body was still. He wasn't breathing.

The world closed in around him and nathan fell back. His father appeared at his side and was saying something, but Nathan couldn't hear him. He couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing in his ears. The heartbeat pounding g through his head. His heart was still beating. But Duke's wasn't.

His father was performing CPR and yelling at the phone. Loud noise filled Nathans ears. A scream. His scream, he soon discovered, as his father hugged him closely. The paramedics pronounced Duke dead on arrival, and Nathan couldn't breathe.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Nathan stopped being able to feel anything when the coroner told him and his father that Duke had overdosed on 48 different kinds of opiates. The doctor was impressed that Duke had made it to his bed, even laughed a little. Nathan broke the man's jaw in one swing, and tried to get in another. Time of death: 9:00 to 9:30. During Nathan's call. Duke killed himself because of Nathan. Nathan alternated between crying and sleeping for a week before his father intervened. And as if on autopilot, Nathan began an unfeeling life. Nathan never read Duke's letter to him. Couldn't bring himself to. He didn't deserved anything of Duke, the murderer doesn't get that.


End file.
